During my first clinical semester, I was lucky enough not to experience this point. Granted, level one was incredibly hard and I wanted to cry on multiple occasions. I was lucky enough never to cry over nursing school or feel like quitting. Although I was in hell, I was pretty content with my experiences.
Everyone has their breaking point in nursing school, and I can attest to this. Allow me to tell you my story from this semester...
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If you have not yet heard, Medical-Surgical Nursing is quite possibly hell itself. At GCU, you go from learning the basics, like vital signs, one semester, and then the next you are learning about how to assess, diagnose, care plan, implement interventions, and evaluate different types of heart failure among a hundred other disorders at the same time. It is as if anatomy and physiology, pharmacology, pathophysiology and microbiology (four of the hardest core courses) got together and made a demon child.
I was so naive to think that all of the rumors about Med-Surg could be combated by studying exactly how I have the last 4 semesters. I spent 60-70 hours studying for the first exam and felt on top of the world. I thought I knew the material like the back of my hand. That morning, I did not fear walking into the room and grabbing my exam to sit down.
When the time started, I opened to the first page of the book and I felt my face turn as pale as the paper that I wanted to cry on. I had no idea what the question was even asking. I skipped to the second question to be greeted by the same unfamiliar material. I was so lost that I flipped to the cover of my exam to make sure this was even the right test! About halfway through, I pretty much gave up hope. I have always been one of the first ones done with exams, but this time, I was only halfway through with twenty out of seventy two minutes to go. I began to answer questions faster, only being able to narrow them down to three of four options before guessing. More than frustrated, I turned in my exam without even checking to make sure I bubbled everything in correctly.
As soon as I walked out of the room, tears welled up in my eyes. It took everything in my power not to bawl my eyes out until I got to the bathroom. As soon as I walked through the bathroom door, the tears began to flow faster, and I could not stop sobbing. I was sure that I had gotten around a 30% based on how much I guessed. I thought that it was going to be impossible to bring my test average above a 76%, which is the requirement. I spent a good ten minutes trying to control my crying before I walked back into that room and listened (more or less) to a two hour med-surg lecture.
For the next three days, I hit rock bottom. During work and class, I could hardly concentrate or think straight. If I was not working or in class, I was in bed asleep or staring at a wall. I felt like a failure, and honestly felt like giving up nursing. I did not want to keep doing this emotional wreck of a major, especially when I was met with failure after busting my ass studying.
The night that grades were supposed to be in, three days later, I went to the movies with my boyfriend and his roommates. I finally let loose and tried to enjoy this time, because I knew I would break down again when I got my grades. Once we got out of the movie, I received texts from my nursing friends saying that grades were in. I was absolutely terrified. I did not want to cry in front of everyone, so I waited patiently to get back to my dorm. The ten minute trip back to campus felt like twenty, and I could not wait any longer. I logged on to look at my grades as everyone got out of the car...
And cried tears of joy. Never in a million years would I have been excited for a 68% on an exam, but I was so happy that it was not what I expected. I knew that, although it would be hard, a 68% would be much easier to work with than a 30%. After I received the grade, I was filled with newfound motivation to study and kick these exams out of the park.
After changing my study style, going to every study session available, and reading 100% of the readings, I still did not bring my test average up to passing until after the third exam (and even then I was passing by 1%!). But, I finished strong and brought it up to a 79.5% in the end. My breaking point was horrible, but it led to so much motivation and passion to keep moving forward. Everyone will get their breaking point in nursing school, but do not let it get you down! Use it as a way to keep your fire going!
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Failure is a measure of success. Success is more valuable when you get knocked down, but keep on trying for your goal. If you are struggling with a goal in life right now, please do not give up. You can do this. Like, comment, or share. Tell me what you think of this story. Have a happy new year! 💜
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